Pam's Gossip Train

Name: Pam Poovey
Door: Right

Canon: Archer (TV series)
Canon Point: End of Season 11

Age: 38
Appearance: Pam is tall (5'10") and curvy. She's heavy --fat by most standards-- but also just broad built. She's a Wisconsin farm girl from a stocky family. She's blonde, blue eyed, and fair skinned with large, natural breasts. She's well muscled under all her curves and it keeps her breasts and broad back porch both pretty perky. On her back, she is tattooed from the nape of her neck to the bottom of her ribcage with thirteen tally marks and a quote from Lord Byron's "The Destruction of Sennacherib"

"For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast, And breathed in the face of the foe as he passed; And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill, And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still!"

History: Pam was born and raised on Poovey Farms, a dairy run by her family in Brown County, Wisconsin. Tragedy has struck her family numerous times --from a flood that destroyed much of their land to her mother dying of ALS-- and Pam spent a lot of her youth running the farm with her father. Ultimately, she put herself through college as a means to escape the rural life and is treated like a traitor by her family and their neighbors for moving to New York.

She paid her way through school by participating in bare-knuckle boxing matches and other underground fighting, though you wouldn't know it from her personality. She moved to New York and eventually got a job as the Human Resources director at the clandestine-spy-agency-formerly-known-as-ISIS. She isn't great at her job, being a huge gossip and prone to sleeping with her coworkers, but she takes pride in what she does anyway.

Not that ISIS is an easy place to work (imagine 60's era James Bond style espionage but with a Wiley Coyote level of chaos). Her boss's son, Sterling Archer, is (arguably) the world's greatest spy AND a raging alcoholic and full time train wreck. Their second best agent, Lana Kane, is Sterling's ex which causes a lot of friction. The boss's secretary, Cheryl Tunt, is a billionaire heiress, out of her mind, and prone to homicidal impulses. The tech engineer, Krieger, has incredibly dubious credentials and may be stealing office tech to build a clone army. The only half-way normal office employee is Cyril, the accountant, and he's been dumped on so much by Archer that he's near a breaking point most days.

For most of Pam's time at Isis, that was the status quo (well...there was that year they got shut down and had to run cocaine to make ends meet, but...it worked itself out). Then, three years ago, Sterling Archer was shot by a target and went into a coma. The whole office actually started to run much smoother. Cyril became a full time field agent and became really good at it. Pam got to start doing more 'official' work in the field too, and she has LOVED it! She's missed her friend, though. Lana had Archer's baby (after a fling with her ex the year before) and married some rich old guy. Cheryl got therapy... Then Archer woke up. He's trying to go back in the field, despite injuries and Pam feels for him. He's also a terrible influence on her. She'd been doing really well about work-place language and behavior and following mission plans...but Archer makes it feel really natural to just be herself and do whatever feels right..



Personality:
+ Good Friend: Pam's greatest (and possibly only) strength in her original role as HR is that she is immensely supportive. She really gets to know her friends and coworkers; listening and remembering what's important to them even when it may not seem like anyone is paying attention. She knows the right things to say to cheer someone up and is always there for those she cares for when they're down. She does this on a more subtle level at all times by trying to be the positive and optimistic one in the room, even if she's not really feeling it. If it comes down to it, she'll fight to save her friends or spend her last dollar to bail them out...or blow a waiter to get them out of a tab, if that's an option. She has given really effective pep-talks to Sterling Archer on multiple occasions, as well as Cyril, Lana and Mallory Archer.

- Low impulse control: Pam's weight is just the most obvious sign of her impulse control issues. Truth be told, she'd probably be big-boned no matter what, but her eating habits do not help. Food is comforting and, if it's available, she'll eat as much as she wants. Sometimes that means a sticky bun in each hand, and she is unapologetic for it. She nearly died from eating artificial crab legs that triggered her soy allergy at one point, but kept going back for more because they were free and delicious. When the spy agency was forced to close they temporarily started selling cocaine to get by, Pam quickly picked up a coke addiction to replace the food addiction. The drug was everywhere around her and she couldn't help herself once she knew she liked it. While she CAN muster the will power to get herself in line and be effective at work, she is easily influenced by the behavior of others or even just the suggestion of doing something she'd enjoy more.

- Horny: If at all possible, Pam will sexualize any situation. It's possible she's just really lonely and starved for affection, but her low sense of self-worth has left her seeing sex as the only value she offers in trade for affection. It is also possible she has a very intense sex drive. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle. Whatever the drive, Pam has had sex with three (possibly 4) out of five of her primary co-workers. She also frequently offers blow jobs as a solution to conflicts, whether it be an unpaid restaurant tab or angry gang members. She is bi-sexual and up for anything any time. This has led to numerous compromising situations and a few dangerous ones. She ended up going to space at one point because she agreed to hide out on the rocket so she and Archer could keep having sex while he was on his mission.

- Born in a barn: She may or may not have literally been born in a barn. That is the best possible explanation for her rude and crude behavior some of the time. She loses her grasp on what is socially acceptable very easily. On the simplest level, she will burp and fart in front of others. More upsettingly, she's usually the one to take a joke too far. If others are commenting inappropriately about how attractive someone is, she's the one to take it too far and say "you could literally drown a toddler in my panties right now". Pam very easily goes well and beyond what is "too much information" for a given conversation. She usually realizes after the fact that her contribution was uncomfortable, but it doesn't stop her the next time.


Powers and Abilities: Pam has no 'super' abilities, but she is remarkably strong. She's a great fighter and hard to take down. She also has a hell of a high tolerance for alcohol and drugs. She picks up languages pretty well, when immersed, and is conversant in Japanese and Italian. She's also talented at a number of arts and crafts, basic farm chores, and animal husbandry. She can fit up to three standard billiard balls in her mouth at once, but if startled, she will swallow them.

Inventory: Dolphin hand puppet, a betta fish named Jermaine, and a bar-top multi-bottle dispenser for a liquor called "Schützenmeister" (which is her universe's "Jagermeister")

Samples:
Sample 1: Test Drive

Sample 2:
Well this sucks. Archer finally wakes up from his coma and now Pam finds herself in some completely different dimension or something. She barely got to welcome one of her best friends back to the land of the living and now she doesn't know how or if she'll be able to get home. It's not like a mission to rescue her will be top priority. They probably won't even notice she's missing for the first month. It's like that time she was kidnapped for ransom all over again! Pam laments what complete assholes she's friends and coworkers with as she sets up her betta's fish bowl in what --she hopes-- is a temporary new home.

"At least I've got you, Jermaine." She taps at the glass and the fish attacks. "Ha. Yeah. You kill that finger, buddy."

It wasn't like this was some hellscape, though, was it? She wasn't being tortured or in any immediate danger that she could tell. In fact, the sexually liberated and lenient laws of this place seem like a pretty good time. Once she finds a weed guy around town and a way to pay him, she'll be set until she can find a way home.
Well, as the saying goes, 'when in Rome'! Pam settles the rest of her limited belongings and strips down nude. Now to figure out the camera on the computer thing they gave her and get into the town's weird, kinky dating pool! A couple real naughty photos and one holding the fish bowl, you know, for the animal lovers.